Loss

One of the hardest parts of getting older is the steady loss of the next higher generation from yours. My parents were both the youngest of their families, and they had us later than the norm for their generation (in their mid-30's). Losses like what happened last week are hard and there really isn't much time in the modern hectic schedule to step back and ponder the losses as they come.

On Thursday afternoon, as I was leaving the grocery store with both children my Dad called to let me know that my Uncle Gerry had passed away (we knew he was in bad shape, my Mom was actually there when he passed away). Honestly it took a while for me to process, since the minutia of daily life (I still had to get the kids home, get them fed, pack for yet another weekend of military duty (my third in a row)) just didn't give me any processing time. It really didn't hit me until Saturday night when I was coming back from dinner and the audio book I was listening to hit a touch point for me (I don't deal well with children being in danger/injured/killed much since I have become a father) but I recognized that it wasn't about the story but me finally processing what had happened (I was so glad I had a room to myself, a rarity in my Army career) because, for a rare moment, I had no one to worry about but myself and nothing to do until morning.

My Facebook status, that I could finally post in on Sunday morning (after a good cry the previous night)
"RIP to my Uncle Gerry(Father Gerard O'Shea, LCDR (r) USN). He passed away Thursday afternoon. I think my brother Gregory summed it up best, "the world is a little less nicer without him". He married my parents, baptized me, married me and baptized my children. Heavens gain, our loss."

My Irish cousin's was also pretty good:
My first cousin, Rev. Gerard O'Shea, has passed on after an illness. 
He was the eldest son of my aunt Nora, who went to the U.S. when she was young. She had three children, of whom Mary Julianne (Judy) Buchholz remains. Gerry was a Lieut Commander in the U.S. Navy. He joins his brother Kevin and my two brothers Ian and Denis Raphael. Requiem aeterna dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis. Requiescant in pace.

My kid's with Gerry in May 2016

My brother Barry's christening 

 Gerry in his prime

 Easter 1947

Woot!

Touchdown for the boys wearing the Red, White and Blue. The Navy Seal version of Delta Force, after being ferried by Army Special Ops helo's, got to put two in the head of something who has been allowed to exist on this planet for far too long. And then the crowd goes crazy!

Late I know, but I have been busy with getting ready for this whole deployment thing.

It has given me time to see some people's reaction to death of Osama Bin Laden. I think it is funny the angst some people have about their even momentary happy reaction to this great news. I guess for me there is none, I am unabashed in my happiness that this rabid dog (and for bonus points one of his spawn) has been put down. OBL turned in his membership card to be part of the human race long ago. At this point he became something that for people like me would feel no remorse in destroying (since you kill humans and even gentle animals, you destroy diseased creatures). Perhaps that is part of my psychology, that I am able to revoke the status of human in my mind and erase any perceived guilt on my part if I ever have to pull the trigger.

Those of us who carry guns have to be able to do that. To fall back on our primal "protect my family and tribe" instinct to allow us to pull the trigger and not be destroyed psychologically. Some cases like this and most firefights that Soldiers get into is fairly easy, but when you get to more of the self-defense and Law Enforcement trigger pulling it gets more complicated.

I know there are reasons that they treated the body like they did, but in my hind brain I would have been just as happy to mount his head to the White House gates and fed the rest of the body to the hogs (because in some ways that would show we mean business and are not to be f-ed with, which the Muslim world may respect more than our constant pandering and bowing to their wishes).

eBook War

Anyone else entertained by the firefight that occured this week? Mostly spurred on by our friends at Apple introducing the iPad you have a book publisher (Macmillan) that choose to try and strongarm Amazon to increase the list price for their books (from 9.99 to 14.99, a direction that I abhore) because that is what Apple was going to list stuff for (for their reader software on the iPad). So Amazon simply chooses to delist all McMillan's books (something like 1/6 of their inventory).

And then the authors get involved....



Now I get it, the traditional contract for authors is based on gross sales (yes, I know it is more complicated than that). But ebooks simply cost a lot less to produce and distribute.



Of course I find myself torn to be on the side of a retailor that is incorporating DRM into everything they sell (ebook-wise.... oddly I choose Amazon for MP3's since those are not DRM'd). But really? $15 for an ebook? That I cannot lend to a friend, prop in my bookcase, resell or even technically own (and what if the retailer goes away? DRM pisses me off). I like the authors and I kind of sympathize with them, but there is a world of distance between and ebook (now, DRM'd and all) and a physical book.



Now I feel the urge to go buy some non-DRM'd books. Thank god Baen (my favorite SF publisher) sells them direct to me at a really reasonable price.





Full disclosure? I own a Kindle 2 and if I ever do by an iPad, it will not be a first gen one....

Does the artist affect your enjoyment?

I always find it so fasinating that people are so tolerant of artists, accepting behavior that if you knew the person in real life that you would make efforts to keep away and defriend them.

I know that for me whenever I see/hear music from Michael Jackson that I am less than interested in hearing or seeing anything more from the man (I freely admit that I was apathetic about his death, it really meant next to nothing to me since his behavior to this point had already made him dead to me as an artist). I just don't know how people are so able to separate the person from their work, when to me they are so interrelated. I just can't do it.....

Grammar/Spelling Nazi Drive-by

I love using Yelp to review restaurants (http://danielobvt.yelp.com/). I feel that since it aids me in finding places to eat I feel like I should put my 2 cents in. Often the reviews are typed on my iPhone just after eating there. It leads to occasional (~ 1 per review.... Always words that I always spell wrong) spelling errors. But today I got the following message from another user:

Hint: your reviews will get more notice if you run that little abc (spell checker).

....Wow

And her pic? Classic Grammar/Spelling Nazi.

So I am sticking by the headline, Spelling Nazi Drive-By.... film at 11.

Leadership and Being in Charge

I was the Company Commander for my Army National Guard Company (~60 people) last weekend (when the bosses went off and played at a central party) and it got me thinking....

I never thought I would ever be in a position of authority like I am for both my civilian and military careers. I know that I when I was a kid? Never really crossed my mind. I never dreamed or imagined that anything more than a few people would ever consider me to be their boss (maybe a small programming or engineering team). It.... never... even... occurred to me.....

But I look at where I am now, being an Executive Officer for my Army Company and a soon to be GS-14 for my government job (where I manage a 24x7x365 shop with 30+ people with a budget in excess of $6-7 million) and I had that moment, like from the song "How did I get here?"

Obviously on some level I must have searched it out. Particularily on the military side where I spent 2.5 years working to to get my commission. I know that some of it comes from a strong sense of duty, where I look around and ask myself, if I don't step up, who will (or worse, that someone who is less qualified than me steps up and doesn't do as good of a job as me). And while I have taken very little in the way of management courses I think I can see where others made mistakes (and successes) and what I do not (and do) want to do when I am placed in situations where I must lead.

I just think that it is funny that for someone with very little ambition when I was little ended with so much, and in the future I will probably have more.

Freedom takes another hit.

Virginia Passes Smoking Ban
While I personally appreciate the fact that I will be able to come home from VA bars and not smell like I rolled around in an ashtray (given that I do not, now, in the past or in the future, smoke) I kind of appreciate it.
However......
Whatever happened to personal responsibility (no one is forcing me to go to these bars)? Or, y'know, pesky things like property rights (those owners of the establishments should decide what goes on there. A number here in Arlington are smoke free already by choice (choose... yes, I like that word, choose). They decided to see if the market was right for them, and offered a choice to the consumers.

I know that a lot of y'all are celebrating this, but in this Libertarians world? I am seeing another spark of freedom being extinguished.

Vegas Baby!!!

What to do when you want nothing to do with the coronation, sorry, inauguration mess that is about to descend on your hometown?
Head far away to the land that is American Capitalism at its best and worst.

From the 18th to the 21st I will be living it up at Paris and enjoying all that makes America great!

Courtesy...

Really people? Whatever happened to the one of the best underpinnings of society? Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated. (Or, “Do unto others as you would want done onto you”) This rule seems badly fraid in todays world. Where things are pretty much all about you… To take the time to pause for a second and contemplate what you are doing and the effect on others around you…. Saying “please” and “thank you”

But C’mon…. This rule should be even more in effect when it comes to the workplace, where there are even more protocols in place. Let me give you the jist of a conversation that took place yesterday afternoon… And let me preface this by making the positions of those involved
Me: Federal Employee with significant responsibility (branch/section chief with 30 contractors working for me)
FBG-SA (Formerly Big Guy, Still Asshole): Contractor who works for one of my peers in another division in the same Office
Also present, my Divisions Program Manager – COG (Cool Old Guy)

Me – (coming in and asking questions about the topic of the day that interests our Office Director)
FBG-SA – What are you doing down here? (without even standing up or making any effort to talk FTF)
Me – (ask legitimate business related)
FBG-SA – (eventually provides answer to question… in most pompous, arrogant manner possible)

Never in the conversation was any attempt made to talk with me or COG like we were people… at all times the most condescending tone and mannerisms were used. Implications about other personnel in the office were made in dismissive manner.

I wouldn’t treat anyone this way. Not a peer, not a subordinate and most definitely not 2 people who are higher in the chain than he was. While I stayed on target, COG was definitely stewing and stuff like that (getting someone senior to you PO’d at you) is not good for your career, no matter how technically capable you are (or at the very least it will limit how far you will go).

Go VOTE!!

And if you are undecided (how you are I have no idea), vote McCain. You cannot go wrong with voting for a true American Hero who has a long history of leadership and excellence.

Remember, if you don't vote you can't complain. Slaves keep quite. Citizens vote and let their voices be heard.

Car Free?

I went car free yesterday, though for me it isn't that hard. During the week my car will probably move 2, maybe 3 times (grocery store and maybe gym). When you live 3/4 mile from work and have a gym that is 1/2 mile away there can be many days where you can do without a car.

Ironically I do this and I have one of the most efficient cars out there, a Prius.

The Theme of the Day

I had my 9/11 moment earlier this week (though the flags flying everywhere definitely do pull at my heart this day):


Driving back on 395, a long, busy weekend. Finally almost home at 10PM (after leaving at 4AM on Friday), wearing my Army uniform and ready to see my parents and head to bed.


But as I cleared the turn that brought me right past the Pentagon from the HOV lanes all of that popped from my head.

Yes, it struck me... to see that flag there, in the foreground (not seen here) the lights representing those who lost their lives that day. In my hometown –Arlington, VA.

9/11 is and always will be personal to me. While I was immensely lucky to not lose anyone in the events of that awful morning, everything about it strikes a chord with me and my life:

• The poor, brave souls on UAL Flight 93. As someone who has flown so often in my life, I have little trouble imagining the terror and confusion on the plane that morning. People just like me that were traveling for business or pleasure and expected the greatest inconvenience to be dealing with the cramped seats, bad food and delays of air travel, but instead faced a horrible situation where the passengers rose to the challenge to protect their country.
• The civil servants, military personnel and contractors working in the bowels of the Pentagon to keep this country safe. Having been a contractor, serving as a National Guardsman and also being a civil servant, these were my people. My coworkers (in the grander scheme), comrades and peers who lost their lives in an unprecedented attack.
• And of course the lives lost in the WTC. I have lived in NYC, worked in the high-rises and consider it my second favorite US city. My family works there, my brother lives there.. Really, nothing can compare to the horror, terror and anger I felt at this violation and senseless loss of life that these attacks resulted in.

So, yes I slowed (not safe I know but I did look and there was no traffic at all behind me), I felt myself finger the flag that sits on my right shoulder of my ACU's and tossed off a short salute as I drove past. 9/11 was one of the impetuous for me to join the Guard and driving past in uniform like that was fulfilling a promise of mine to not feel as helpless as I did 7 years ago.

Back at it

5 months is a long time to be away from work. I actually was back at work the day after graduating from SBOLC, Thursday.



Seeing a lot of my coworkers (and my boss... a pretty good guy that shares my somewhat off sense of humor), meeting new coworkers, seeing how some projects have proceeded and, well, it felt good to be needed (the past 5 months left me somewhat feeling like a cog...). People were happy to see me, willing to listen to my input and it was interesting to catch up on some events. Hopefully it will be a while before I am not excited to go to work, because right now it's a pretty exciting prospect.



Nothing like being away to give you new perspective in life.

Why I hate the suburbs

It’s a "discussion" that I have had with a number of people (including one person who I knows reads this).
I hate the suburbs.... hate, hate, hate.....

I am a city boy (and yes, the parts of Arlington County that I live and work in, along the Orange line up to Ballston, is definitely city (based on walk-ability, buildings and density)). I spent 3 miserable years out in Fredericksburg where I had to drive everywhere (even to exercise... it wasn't safe to run or walk around my townhouse), didn't know my neighbors and felt cut-off from society. I came to despise I-95 (which can get clogged with traffic on the weekends). I still do in fact, even though my runs down that road are limited to once a month for Army stuff. (I just don't see how people can deal with this every day)

So now every time people talk about commutes (vs. my 20 minute stroll to work) I have bite my tongue (as I so want to blurt out that no house is worth that commute (people are spending 1.5-2 hours, on a good day, driving so that they can have their McMansions out in the suburbs/exaburbs)). They will always harp about how their kids have a yard (highly overrated if there are good parks available), good schools (hmm..... who has some of the highest rated schools (all 4 of them in the top 50-100, one in the top 10... for the country) in the region.. oh yeah, Arlington), and that they don't have to see their neighbor(and people wonder why society seems to be breaking down in the US.. People just want to relax after their awful commutes. They don’t want to get back out in a car and attend a meeting.. or even go to a bar (given how hard we are cracking down on people driving after even having one drink)).

Since I so love bullet lists:

• It's dehumanizing. People spend hours of time in their car. Not just commuting but also in running any daily tasks (since people in the suburbs don't walk or take public transportation.
• It's bad for the environment (yep, I am making this statement... the irony is dripping). It’s a very unsustainable lifestyle (which we are starting to feel no in the era of $100 per barrel oil) and the costs are going to keep going up. It’s not an efficient system and we are going to be paying the price for it for a long time.
• And quite honestly its bad for America (how much oil do we have to import to heat/cool those monster houses (with the shrinking American family why in gods name do we need more space?), to fuel those cars on their long commutes as they idle in traffic...). We are basically pumping money (going to such "friends" as the Saudi Arabians...) and forever tying ourselves to the Middle East (and the inherent troubles of that region). That and the general fraying of the edges of the social fabric of America that this assists (via the decreasing social involvement in this country).
  

But whatever. As my Mom would say, it takes all kinds (and thank god for that.... how horrible it would be if we all wanted the same thing). Those people can have the 'burbs, since in my mind it’s for the birds..... They can tire themselves out there cursing traffic while I enjoy my urban environment where I can stroll over to the local restaurant, take a walk around with family and friends, hit a bar and then safely stroll home. Maybe they will be most of the way home by the time I am done....
*/end rant mode*/

How the Army Plans a night out

Information has been redacted to protect the innocent (or in the case of some of the characters, not so innocent).

So, its the middle of Christmas party season and if we don't plan a night out on the town, its just not going to happen. So, here is the concept of the operation:

1) Meet up at 1730 ** DEC 2007 at ORP *** Street.
2) Consume pregame drinks and argue about who can build a better fire or about the playoffs or any other such stuff.
3) At 1930 ** DEC 2007 we cross the LD and board waiting trans to *** for *** at ***.
4) 2100 ** DEC 2007 pass phase line green and head to wicked good House party in nearby **. (We will bring our own beer to make our arrival more welcome.)
5) Operation talk with strangers will then proceed until 2300 ** DEC 2007 when we board provided trans for last time for a ride to ***.
6) 2330 ** DEC 2007 Alpha Team arrives at Phase Line Red to begin assault on ***. Likely targets include ***, *** and ***.

7) LOA - 0200 ** DEC 2007 Trans back to ORP *** for rest and recovery.

It's a plan everyone can love!

Commander's Intent - Kick Ass time with flexibilty for opting in for any portion.

Safety Considerations: By hiring a large SUV for trans we get everyone home safely and get to feel like rock stars for a few hours.

Strike Week 2.

Stop the insanity.... please!! Do you know the damage that you are doing to one of my favorite mediums, Television?
Do you understand the long term damage that you are doing? The corporations that you are fighting have deep pockets and can wait you out. Your fellow employees are not so lucky.. Look at the havoc that you are wreaking on them.
I just perused the latest EW (and watched the silly WGA video on youtube) and the number of shows that are in "inventory" is looking pretty pathetically low.. and god imagine the damage if this goes too far into the new year... into my precious pilot season... That would mean no new shows for the 2008 season.

I am sorry. I admit to not having much loyalty to unions (as a white collar worker I view them as absurd for the people of my class... I can do my own negotiating thank you very much!). But I think that you are doing irreparable damage to the very industry that you are trying to extract the money from. Get back to work!

Recharging

A free weekend. What a novel thing. After having things scheduled for the past 3 weekends without end, and my schedule is starting to look full in the future it was refreshing to finally have a weekend to enjoy.

I started it off by heading to Continental after the Gym to enjoy their happy hour with my GF (though the beers were up to par the food wasn’t as good as it has been). An early evening then off to bed.

GF took off early to go volunteer. Then I slept in, laid around for quite some time (read, watch some TV, played Bioshock). Then a nice afternoon run, popped over to the parents for dinner (burgers) the off to see a movie over at AMC Hoffman. The computers were down there again (do they ever work?) so we just barely made it inside for the show. Though it was worth it…. “Superbad” was awesome. One of the best teen movies that I have seen, period. I think that it helped that all of the cast were much more typical and less glossy than some of the normal teen fare and that the writing was excellent and really captures kids at that age.

After a lazy startup we went to Alexandria for brunch on Sunday. We went to Pat Troys for the food (I had a really good Irish breakfast). Then we spent several hours strolling around, checking out shops and just enjoying the fantastic day.

After a quick recharge (nap for GF, visit to the gym for me) we then headed over to Talula’s Eat Bar to check out a showing of one of the best movies ever… “Goonies”. I liked a lot of what they had there and the popcorn and other treats were a nice touch. Will definitely have to hit it again in the future.
A little bit of Emmy’s and then bed. A very fine weekend.

So glad I live in this country...

For all the claims of free speech being repressed in this country, you have stories such as this:

BBC News (oddly you get the most unbiased coverage from the BBC... when you pull up the story from other sources, such as ABC you get items tossed in such as "far right" and "shaved heads"). Though I did get the most shudder inducing quote from the ABC article:

"It is very important to remember that the freedom of assembly and
expression can be restricted to protect the rights and freedoms of others,
including the freedom of thought, conscience and religion," secretary general Terry Davis said. "

Yeah, we have problems in this country. But we still believe that people have the right to assemble, heck we even offer security if its going to be controversial (like anything involving that vile KKK). Whereas "The mayor of Brussels, Freddy Thielemans, banned the protest last month for fear it would cause problems with the city's immigrant population."

Its stories like this that make me sick when people continue to point at Europe as the bright and shining light that all others would do well to follow.. Please, give it a rest.

And BTW people.... it says freedom of speech.... it doesn't mean freedom of responsibility. If you say something then everyone (other than the government which should stay out of it) has the right to make you pay for it in their own way... (ie, you say something stupid about the Irish then I wouldn't expect my business would be heading to you again).

6 Years ago.

Even now I can remember the events of 6 years ago with perfect clarity.

I was unemployed at the time (though I had just done an interview that would lead to a job in a few short weeks with the government). So I slept in until around 0800. Then I just remember the panic, the desperate attempts to get in touch with family. The fear that I couldn't. The absolute horrors of seeing one, then the other tower of the WTC go down. Hearing about the strike on the Pentagon and seeing smoke in the distance. The further panic of reports of another aircraft headed for DC.

It all still resonates strongly with me and remains a powerful motivator for my actions today. Every time that I put on my uniform I have that strong desire to make sure that what happened 6 years ago never happens again and, heaven forbid, that something happened again that I could provide more assistance than sitting at home desperately seeking more information about that safety of my family.

Though I dodged a bullet in that no one from my extended or immediate family was hurt (though my uncle and cousin will probably forever have the images of the jumpers burned in their mind as they were working in the vicinity) my heart still aches for the people that lost their lives to this cowardly attack and for their families that continue to mourn their loss. It saddens me that the scum that ochestrated this event still continue to breathe and still offer some sort of further threat to this country.

Somehow its appropriate that on a day commemorating such a grim event even the weather seemed sad.

Embarassed for others....

never lend your GF a computer that has had many more users than yourself for prolonged periods of time without wiping it first. It cuts down on the awkward emails that come in when she is sick and using it out of boredom.. Particularly when she thinks that you have been the sole user of said machine...

And then emailing back and desperately asking not to be told the specifics because then you will be pondering which of the potential users did access those sites…