I Turn 40.

So I think it says a lot about how I prioritize things that my children's birthdays all get posts on my blog, but I let my own birthday just slip on by, even though it is one of those "big" ones.
Last August I celebrated my 40th year on this Earth, by myself, thousands of miles from home. I was in Vegas for Black Hat and DEFCON.

I know some people like to make a big deal of their birthdays (cough, cough, H (aka Cupcake Girl)) but I am a more reserved person who is happiest with a meal and some cake shared with family.

It is funny, I don't feel 40. I am probably lighter and in better shape than I was 20 years ago. I have a beautiful wife, 2 awesome children, 1 great cat and 1 good cat, and a job that I like and that pays well (and I even got to fulfill my dream of being a member of the US Military). Does my life seem hectic? Yep. But busy is better than not having all these wonderful things in my life. I feel like I have done a lot already in my life and there is a lot more to do and I look forward to the future.

Loss

One of the hardest parts of getting older is the steady loss of the next higher generation from yours. My parents were both the youngest of their families, and they had us later than the norm for their generation (in their mid-30's). Losses like what happened last week are hard and there really isn't much time in the modern hectic schedule to step back and ponder the losses as they come.

On Thursday afternoon, as I was leaving the grocery store with both children my Dad called to let me know that my Uncle Gerry had passed away (we knew he was in bad shape, my Mom was actually there when he passed away). Honestly it took a while for me to process, since the minutia of daily life (I still had to get the kids home, get them fed, pack for yet another weekend of military duty (my third in a row)) just didn't give me any processing time. It really didn't hit me until Saturday night when I was coming back from dinner and the audio book I was listening to hit a touch point for me (I don't deal well with children being in danger/injured/killed much since I have become a father) but I recognized that it wasn't about the story but me finally processing what had happened (I was so glad I had a room to myself, a rarity in my Army career) because, for a rare moment, I had no one to worry about but myself and nothing to do until morning.

My Facebook status, that I could finally post in on Sunday morning (after a good cry the previous night)
"RIP to my Uncle Gerry(Father Gerard O'Shea, LCDR (r) USN). He passed away Thursday afternoon. I think my brother Gregory summed it up best, "the world is a little less nicer without him". He married my parents, baptized me, married me and baptized my children. Heavens gain, our loss."

My Irish cousin's was also pretty good:
My first cousin, Rev. Gerard O'Shea, has passed on after an illness. 
He was the eldest son of my aunt Nora, who went to the U.S. when she was young. She had three children, of whom Mary Julianne (Judy) Buchholz remains. Gerry was a Lieut Commander in the U.S. Navy. He joins his brother Kevin and my two brothers Ian and Denis Raphael. Requiem aeterna dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis. Requiescant in pace.

My kid's with Gerry in May 2016

My brother Barry's christening 

 Gerry in his prime

 Easter 1947

My Son Turns 1!

Happily stealing my wife's collage of pictures, this represents the first year of the life of my son, Sean. He is a happy kid, who loves pretty much anything anyone else is doing (in particular his sister). He started walking fairly early (10ish months) and continues to a be a joy. I am excited that he has managed to reach this benchmark and cannot wait to see what sort of a man he eventually becomes. I am so happy for any amount of time I can spend with him and his sister (though the flight to Orlando later this month with both of them and just me is going to be.... interesting...).

Happy birthday Sean!

My Daughter Turns 3!

Sydney, you live in a magical age. Never will you have to worry about staring out the car windows with nothing to do and boredom is but fleeting moments from being fixed. I hope (and will try to help) you develop Daddy's love of reading in the face of so much other electronic stimulation.

3 years ago you entered my life (actually a bit more than that since the moment that the pregnancy test came back positive I was planning to meet you IRL (In Real Life... old people techie speak)). My life has been enriched by your (very) willful presence. You have a very strong personality and know what you like, and are not afraid to tell us what you don't like. This year (and the next) of your life will be fairly stable, a few trips, maybe a promotion to the next class in daycare, then life will come whirling at you. I am so happy to be there with you and help you (when you are willing to accept) along with each stage of your life.

You (and your brother, as well as your mother) are the center of my life. 

I apologize for the fact that for at least the next 8 years or so the odds are very likely I will not be there on the day of your birthday (side effect of Daddy being part of the Army National Guard, which always seems to have annual training right around your birthday). I was so excited that I was able to get a few minutes with you on your birthday this year!

Net Worth (aka, I love Personal Capital)

Coming in a close second for the title of most boring post, everyone really should know their net worth.

I admit I was lazy up until 2ish years ago. We had plenty of money coming in and being invested, but I wasn't really paying attention to where it was and how it was being invested. I played around with Mint, but that was really focused on budgeting. Then I discovered Personal Capital. It pulled everything together and let me see in one picture where our money was and what it was doing (or not doing as was my case).

Their advisor tools, available for free, are great for you to peer into your investments. One thing that really hit me was the Investment Checkup tool, which shows the pretty impressive amount of fees (and also showed me how how over-invested we were in a variety things (man, was I overweight in the Tech arena)) from my Mutual Funds. This has motived me to do a serious rebalancing of investments (though my biggest one, the Thrift Savings Plan, doesn't offer a lot of options to rebalance. This is mitigated by the impressively low fees (0.02%)), pulling out of a lot of mutual funds (particularly important to me now is the fact that those big distributions at the end of every year? not the best thing from a tax perspective).  It also let us see the most effective way to remove some "bad" (aka, non-deductable. Realistically the only "good" debt is mortgage interest, but there are some exceptions depending on income level) debt (though then I set up a plan to replace that money that was allocated to immediately remove that debt).


BTW, we are also clients of Personal Capital's wealth management, so if you are interested in that check out this link: https://goo.gl/HcAzbi  That and I have been flirting with Robo-Investors (Betterment) Give this link a try betterment.com/invite/danielbuchholz

New Addition to the Family

On June 16th, 2013 I was honored to help welcome my daughter,  Sydney to the world (thanks to my lovely wife, Hannah (aka Cupcake Girl from long ago)).  I am so excited to have her enter our lives!!!

2012!

2012 has been quite an exciting year!  Starting off with a return from Afghanistan (really, if that was the only good thing this would be a great post). A nice couple of weeks off and then back to work.

Lots of wedding planning, followed by the actual event

A delightful almost 3 week vacation to Australia and New Zealand.
A second reception in my Wifes hometown (along with a trip to the State Fair).
There was a bit of tragedy as we had to attend the funerals of both of my wifes Grandmothers (within 3 months of each other).
And of course some new life to counteract those losses as my wife is now pregnant and due in June.

Thankful

One year ago I was lonely (ironically surrounded by people, but still lonely) at a FOB thousands of miles (and hours offset) from family. Yesterday I got to spend most of the day with them, going first for a run (5K here in Arlington):

And then a little later the Holiday meal. I have my wife and my family surrounding me, and thanks to the separation from last year, makin this the best Thanksgiving yet.

Mobilization Training Week 1

So the day finally came. The orders, plane tickets and eventual instructions came, directing me to Camp Shelby MS. There I joined up with the "Replacement Company."

I am playing catchup with my unit that is already enroute to Afghanistan In support of Operation Enduring Freedom. In this Company there are sets, platoons, who are grouped together as they arrive and prepped with the required training, medical reviews and equipment for their destination. Soldiers deploying to Afghanistan like me are being issued new uniforms in the OCP (OEF Camoflage Pattern, recursive acronyms....), aka Multicam. Soldiers here are going to both Iraq and Afghanistan, which means that the formations look quite odd (reminding me of the transition period where we were switching from ACU's to BDU's).

In true Army form it was hurry up and wait, as I flew out on Friday at 0600, finally got to Camp Shelby at 1400 and attended their final formation at 1600. And was told that I had nothing to do until Monday at 0730. So it was time to be bored for the weekend.

As noted the Warrior Platoons are ad-hoc, filled with mostly junior Soldiers (mine has 12 total, 6 right out of Basic/AIT another a year out of that, 3 SSg's a Captain and myself).

The first week was not very busy:

• Monday - nothing
• Tuesday - briefings. Approximately 5 hours of DVD's that were made from canned presentations.
• Wednesday - SRP (Soldier Readiness Process). Also known as "damn my arm hurts" day. Medical review coupled with review of things like legal, pay, etc. Including the dreaded shots... Anthrax (which made my arm hurt for 4 days afterward) and Smallpox (which requires a lot of attention to make sure the area stays clean and dry)
• Thursday - RFI (Rapid Fielding Inititive), CIF (central issuance facility) and JLIST (NBC gear issue, suit, gloves and boots). I ended up taking over another locker to fit all the stuff I got. 4 sets of Multicam, 4 Army Combat Shirts (sleeves look like normal uniform, core is under armor type stuff, meant to be worn under the body armor), 2 boots, a whole mess of cold weather gear, new helmet, pads, body armor, tons of pouches (Rifleman kit), sleeping bag and tons of other stuff. 2.5 duffle bags full all told, probably close to 10,000$ worth of stuff. I am going to keep using the ACU's until Saturday then switch to my new gear, sending the rest home.
• Friday - weapon issue, followup for medical, and mask fitting (another piece of gear I won't use, joy....)
• Saturday - Army Combatives. Way more useful than the last time I learned it. It finally added a section on fighting standing up. And now I learn that this training is being phased out....
• Sunday is an off day.

This has been a very lax training schedule. On no day did we work past 1300...

The base itself is ok. They have a shuttle that comes by every 15 minutes and covers the whole base), key since the px is 1.25 miles away and it is hot! The gym is acceptable (has at least one of most machines) and there is a .45 mile ack for sprint work (why in gods name it is that distance i have no clue) as well as closing a road for morning pt runs. Their PX is pretty nice and well stocked, as is the military clothing sales. Because they do not provide lunch other than MRE's (hot meals for breakfast and dinner) there're some options to eat. There is an AAFES Grill, pizza delivery, and even food trailers (a burger stand, southern cuisine (lots of gravy), fried seafood (yum, catfish!), burritos). And the cadre are allowing us MWR runs to town, to the mall, walmart and the movie theater (1 during the week(4hr), one on the weekend(6hr)) so that makes things more tolerable. Only bummer is very limited Internet. Just a handful of computers and only one place far away that has wifi( only place to hook up your own computer).

I sleep a lot... And talk to my fellow Soldiers, some of these guys have done 3-4 tours and are close to retirement.

And anyone discovering this before heading to this place really needs to figure out and complete all the online training that this place requires. My unit had me do it when I was first mobbing up and it is kind of a relief to not be stressing systems being down or completing the classes while here.